


legend says...

by Ididntsignupforthisshit (myhamartia)



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Fluff, Memes, Michelle is a transgirl sorry I don't make the rules /shrug/, Multi, Peter is a trans boy and you can quote me on that, Polyamory, They're all dating and you can Also quote me on that, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Michelle Jones, Trans Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 08:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14540682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhamartia/pseuds/Ididntsignupforthisshit
Summary: Legend says if you stand in front of your bathroom mirror at 3 AM with the lights off and say the phrase “I don’t have a father figure” three times, you will summon Tony Stark in the flesh and he will adopt you as his own child- arachnaboy's post, tumblr





	legend says...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CyrusBreeze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/gifts), [GenuineLoudBoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenuineLoudBoy/gifts).



> SO!!!
> 
> This is dedicated to both, my sister for showing me [this](https://arachnaboy.tumblr.com/post/172234595331/legend-says-if-you-stand-in-front-of-your-bathroom?is_related_post=1) post and convincing me to actually write it.  _waiting on that art, sis :eyes:_
> 
> AANNNDDD!!! This is dedicated to my friend Emersyn! It's their birthday today and this is the present to tide them over while I get the other one completed :)
> 
> hope you like!

"Shuri, are you recording?" Peter looked at her and she pointed the phone in front of him and have him a thumbs up.

"We are live," she confirmed.

"Good." Peter grinned. "Everyone ready?" he asked, looking over the small group of teenagers sitting together in a makeshift circle on the bathroom floor. They were really lucky that Mr. Stark had such large bathrooms made into the Avengers compound. They were the kind with the freestanding bathtubs and the showers with two showerheads and three sinks. Plenty of floor space for their venture. It probably helped that this was _Mr. Stark's_ bathroom leading off of his living spaces, but... Whatever, right?

There was a chorus of affirmations from his partners, and Peter nodded to himself before he flicked off the light.

The room was a bit difficult to navigate in the dark, but he found his spot in the circle eventually: right next to Shuri, with Ned on his other side. Michelle was sitting across from him, her legs folded under her.

"So," Michelle said, her face blank and more than a little bit ominous, "everyone knows why we're here, but for recap purposes, I'll tell it again."

Ned's hand curled around Peter's knee, and Peter reached down to tangle their fingers together as Michelle continued on. Shuri focused the camera on her, making sure she got everything. Peter was almost concerned with the low light level (moonlight filtered in through the windows, but it was minimal at best.) but she had showed him the night-vision setting while they were talking about this, so he knew that they'd be fine.

"There's a legend," she kept her voice low, mystic, "started by a kid know one's really seen, but have all heard of in passing." She wiggled her fingers in front of them. Peter heard Shuri giggle under her breath. "For kids without fathers, or figures to represent them, there is a way."

She ceremoniously picked up a long-necked lighter and clicked it on. The little orange flame illuminated her grave face along the lines of her brow and cheek bones. Slowly, she lit the candles in the middle of them all, one by one.

(They were weird Bed, Bath & Beyond candles they had found while picking Ned's sunglasses from a strip mall. All of them were named in honor of some of the Avengers. It was a collectable set. So far, they had collected Midnight Panther, Captain Freedom, Hulking Mint and Iron Man. They needed better names. They were so fucking Lame. They didn't even TRY with Mr. Stark's.)

"To conjure the fatherly spirit and to cleanse ourselves of any and all daddy issues-.”

“I don’t have those,” Ned input, raising his hand.

Peter snorted, “Only because you’ve got two moms.”

“Exactly,” he grinned.

“ _We have gathered together_ ,” Michelle cut in, “here, at 3AM on a Saturday night. We are in a bathroom, and the lights are off. Traditionally, our ancestors did this in front of a mirror, but they couldn't have all fit front of the mirror, so we have this." She pulled a small, compact mirror from her jacket pocket and put it in the middle of the circle of candles. "It will do, but I can't guarantee the quality of spirit that we'll summon."

Peter glanced to Shuri. She was having a hard time controlling her giggles and had to bite her lips shut to quiet them.

"We join hands," Michelle went on, like she didn't notice their girlfriend's struggle. Peter squeezed Ned's hand and reached out for Shuri's, but found that she had already reached her free hand to grasp Michelle's.

"How does this work if Shuri has to record it?" Ned asked before Peter could.

"We'll just..." Shuri shifted until she was able to fling one of her legs into Peter's lap. "Hold my leg, Peter." Peter sputtered a laugh, but hooked his hand under her knee as he was told.

Michelle smiled and there was a hint of a laugh in her voice when she spoke next.

"Good. Now, we will speak the mantra. If you will all join me."

Together, as one seriously eerie voice, they spoke the phrase three times. "I have no father figure. I have no father figure. I have no father figure."

With the ritual completed, they waited.

And waited.

And then waited for a few more minutes.

Shuri shifted her leg in Peter's lap, but didn't move it. Everyone held tight to their partner's hands, even as Shuri moved the camera around to look at each of their faces. After a second, she grumbled and switched the camera to her other hand, tossed her opposite leg into Michelle's lap and slipped her hand into Peter's.

"Is that it?" Ned asked, barely above a whisper.

Michelle cut him off sharply, making shushing noises every time Ned tried to speak again.

Shuri focused the camera on Michelle's face as she made a sour little expression.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the doorknob twisted and the door started to open.

Peter made a terrified little noise, squeezing his partner's hands as he twisted around, trying to see who was coming into the room.

The door flung open the rest of the way at the noise and revealed none other than Tony Stark, in little more than a pair of pajama pants and an old motor-oil stained tee. He looked like he was fully alert and in attack mode, with part of his armor over one hand. The other hand held what looked like a rolled up newspaper.

He's totally ready to fight before he caught sight of all the teenagers sitting on the floor around a ring of candles.

"What are you doing?" he burst. "It's, like - Friday, what time is it?!"

"3:04 AM, sir."

"-3 AM!" he finished with a cry. "Now, I promised your mothers that I wouldn't let you all stay up until the ass-crack of dawn, and you're all about to make a liar out of me." He glared at them, his nostrils flaring. Up until now, the teens had kept a very, _very_ good lid on their laughter. Shuri had filmed every second of Tony - totally unapologetically, too. But their fate was sealed as Tony finally took in the situation at hand. "What the hell are you guys even doing in my bathroom?" he asked. "You had better tell me that you're not summoning a demon in my bathroom."

Michelle stuck her hand up in pledge. "Scout's honor," she said.

"Jesus." He shook his head at them in disbelief.

"Don't worry, Mr. Stark," Shuri said smoothly. She looked pointedly at the evidence, signalling Peter and Ned to begin blowing out the candles and gather them up in their arms. Michelle stuffed her mirror back into her pocket. "We were only conducting an experiment."

Tony just looked them all over and sighed heavily. "Okay, I just... Won't even ask. Tell me in the morning and just get out of here. Go to bed." He pointed at our the door, like that was going to  put a bright red _Do As I Say_ stamp on the situation.

Each of them shuffled past Tony, muttering their apologies and their good nights as they went.

Once they were on the elevator going back down to their floor, Peter let out a sigh of relief. "I thought he was going to be seriously pissed," he breathed.

Shuri smirked over at him devilishly. "Not yet at least," she sang brightly.

Peter groaned and rubbed a hand down his face.

    The next morning an email was sent out. Peter didn't know exactly who was on it, all he knew was that the list was big. Every one of them went through and shouted out names to add until Shuri finally declared that she was just gonna send it, no take backsies.

And so the video, captioned _"lmao tfw you accidentally get your boyfriend's dad via summoning ritual"_ went out to several employees and Avengers.

It was a weird-ass Saturday.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://peanutbutterandbitter.tumblr.com)!
> 
> my love for the mcu has been Rekindled by IW and im hurting and also On Fire to write more. Keep a look out; I'm writing Ironstrange rn ;)


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